Too Far Gone- All-American Rejects

4 more days left before i head back home.
if the earth was flat and we might find comfort every second, i'll want to live in chiang mai forever.
list of activities we do everyday:

smoke
drink
play stupid games
film/teach

it's a fulfilling life out here.
thank goodness that majority of chiang mai supports Thaksin. otherwise, i'll prolly get beaten up with a our flag on my sleeve.

a lot has been on my mind lately. whims of dads, brothers and lovers.
i realised how badly i need a father figure in my life. the irony came in thinking of my dad when i was smoking reds, because he smoked them everyday when he was still around.
i breathed in the smell of the pack, and smoked. then i pretended that he was right beside me.
so much for not wanting to be him.

i thought about it, and i've arrived at the conclusion that the figure i need most is that of a brother. i've been thoroughly disappointed by fathers, so perhaps it's time i look for another kind of love.
lovers, in this sense, can shoot themselves. their sole purpose is to aid you in wasting time, spending money and splitting your head in two, even when you're happy.
i've long forgotten any such joy, and sadly, i do not crave it anymore. it's too disappointing.

I blogged @ 11:37 AM